My last words: You're all gonna hate me after this...
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openSUSE Conference 201618 / 63
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00:00
Distribution (mathematics)Computer animation
00:08
Scheduling (computing)
00:16
Category of beingOperations support systemExpert systemJedi KnightRule of inferenceSelf-organizationBoss CorporationOpen sourceComputer-generated imageryDistribution (mathematics)Medical imagingWordSelf-organizationWindowFigurate numberDistribution (mathematics)Slide ruleComputer animation
01:08
Moving averageBoss Corporation
01:18
Installation artDistribution (mathematics)Office suiteOpen sourceWebsiteCompilerFingerprintData modelData managementSoftware testingWavePlane (geometry)Distribution (mathematics)FingerprintWindow1 (number)Coefficient of determinationSystem administratorSatelliteMultiplication signDampingArithmetic meanReading (process)Crash (computing)Data managementSoftware testingGodDisk read-and-write headOpen sourcePlanningMetropolitan area networkUniverse (mathematics)Coma BerenicesNP-hardRight angleOffice suiteCompilation albumComputer animation
06:12
Computer animation
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Computer animation
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Computer animation
Transcript: English(auto-generated)
00:11
I'm five minutes behind my schedule. And I have 10 minutes for this talk.
00:24
Here we go. I'm Markus Wallner. Some of you may know me. I'm the team leader of the SUSE documentation team. And all of this applies. If you want to have the story behind any one of these lines, please come up to me. And for a beer, I may tell you the story.
00:45
I have a little distribution quiz for you. And the thing works very simple. I give you one sentence, one image, one hint. It's an image in words. And you have to guess the distribution window or whatever Linux company or organization is meant.
01:01
You'll figure out how this works after two or three slides. And no, this is not meant to be funny. I was a journalist. I'm impartial. And I hope my boss won't fire me after this talk. I think we are quite open at SUSE, and I hope so. OK, let's roll. What distribution is that?
01:23
Yeah, come on. Arch, what was that? Arch, OK. Ain't nobody got time to install that. Arch, he gets a, yep. So if you guess right, you get some small swag from this. It's done when it's done.
01:42
It's done when it's done. What this? No? Yay, Debian. We have seen the legacy universe. Oh, that's us.
02:01
What's novel Microsoft attachment? Microfocus? Legacy. What? No, two of the three companies that bought us don't exist anymore. Who is that?
02:21
That's SUSE. Come on, don't you want swag? Cool. We can't agree upon a name for our distribution. I heard that before. Who said that? That was great. It's somebody said, Mandriever before? Mandriever before.
02:41
Yeah. We own opensource.com. No, it's not. OK, it's Red Hat. We change the spelling of a name more often than it has letters. Yay. I can't open your document because my liberal office is
03:03
still compiling. Yep, you choose. Who wants? He already has. Give it to us. Our community manager once wrote a book. Ubuntu, yes. Our CEO once wrote a book.
03:23
You don't know Red Hat, huh? OK. Our doc team lead wrote three books. Oh, I'm sorry. We are the Microsoft of open source. Maybe? There's more correct answers.
03:41
Ubuntu is also true. Some people say SUSE is the Microsoft of open source because we have clickable administration. Others say it's Lindos or something like that. Next, it took seven years to finish our website. Yes, because of all the compiling. OK, we've had that before. Who's that?
04:00
You're right. We listen to our community and hence we change the desktop's color. Ubuntu did that. Somebody said, yay. Your grandpa used me.
04:21
Slag. Hey, I'll tell you about my Linux distro. I'll tell you about it. I mean, I will tell you about it. You don't need to ask. Even if you're a Windows or Apple user, I will tell you. I have to. By the way, how do you spot an art user at a party? You don't have to.
04:40
He'll tell you. We considered our... That one's hard. I doubt somebody will know that. We considered our Linux a model T of distros, then we decided to dub ourselves after a burner.
05:01
Anybody ever heard of Crunchbang Linux and Bunsen Labs Linux nowadays? No? Almost done? I once knew a guy who had been using it. He survived. Linux from scratch. We hired a gentle guy and made him head of package management.
05:21
Who would do something stupid as that? He's got it right? Who was it? Zuse. Zuse. We've only been testing this for five years. We can ship it yet? Zuse. What do you mean testing? Ship it. Yes.
05:43
There's a short story to that. When I was a journalist, I was not allowed to test a satellite six server, which they were selling already at that time. Last one. It's a scenery. There's a plane crash. A woman is crying. Oh my God, oh my God, we need a doctor. And then there's this one Linux guy coming on and saying,
06:01
step aside, ma'am. I am an arch user. Step aside, ma'am. I'm an arch user. I said it. So, please contribute to this thing. Send me your suggestions for stupid stuff like that.
06:27
So, thank you very much and of course this was not funny.