Apparently, everyone knows about patterns. Except for the ones that don't. Which is basically all the people who've never come across patterns... plus most of the people who have. Singleton is often treated as a must-know pattern. Patterns are sometimes considered to be the basis of blueprint-driven architecture. Patterns are also seen as something you don't need to know any more because you've got frameworks, libraries and middleware by the download. Or that patterns are something you don't need to know because you're building on UML, legacy code or emergent design. There are all these misconceptions about patterns... and more. In this talk, let's take an alternative tour of patterns, one that is based on improving the habitability of code, communication, exploration, empiricism, reasoning, incremental development, sharing design and bridging rather than barricading different levels of expertise.