The Art of Trolling
This is a modal window.
The media could not be loaded, either because the server or network failed or because the format is not supported.
Formal Metadata
| Title |
| |
| Alternative Title |
| |
| Title of Series | ||
| Number of Parts | 122 | |
| Author | ||
| License | CC Attribution 3.0 Unported: You are free to use, adapt and copy, distribute and transmit the work or content in adapted or unchanged form for any legal purpose as long as the work is attributed to the author in the manner specified by the author or licensor. | |
| Identifiers | 10.5446/40595 (DOI) | |
| Publisher | ||
| Release Date | ||
| Language |
Content Metadata
| Subject Area | ||
| Genre | ||
| Abstract |
|
DEF CON 1951 / 122
3
5
10
11
12
22
23
24
30
31
32
38
43
46
47
49
51
54
56
59
60
62
71
73
76
84
85
88
92
93
96
97
98
104
106
109
112
113
115
119
00:00
Keyboard shortcutProxy serverCAPTCHAVector spaceInternetworkingScripting languageDesign by contractProgrammable read-only memoryInclusion mapMessage passingInformationInternet forumBlogExecution unitField (computer science)Server (computing)Bulletin board systemWhiteboardSystem programmingHacker (term)Proper mapParameter (computer programming)Annulus (mathematics)Prisoner's dilemmaSoftwareFeedbackProgrammschleifeLogicoutputError messageComputer programmingCondition numberComa BerenicesRevision controlDependent and independent variablesSocial classRandom numberElectric currentFunction (mathematics)Integrated development environmentPeer-to-peerTerm (mathematics)Denial-of-service attackPower (physics)Time seriesModemStandard deviationNormal (geometry)MaizeCompilation albumInternet forumWebsiteData conversionRow (database)RobotFlow separationRevision controlHacker (term)CuboidLoginProxy serverCharacteristic polynomialDependent and independent variablesMereologyDifferent (Kate Ryan album)Open sourceProof theoryResultantPhysical lawGodWordBridging (networking)Single-precision floating-point formatSlide ruleNatural numberComputer iconGoodness of fitPhysical systemNormal (geometry)Graph (mathematics)Message passingInstallation artMultiplication signRight anglePlotterTime series1 (number)Scripting languageParameter (computer programming)Exception handlingGraph (mathematics)SequelEvent horizonShape (magazine)GoogolDenial-of-service attackFacebookFamilyForm (programming)Term (mathematics)Cross-correlationAlpha (investment)Prisoner's dilemmaSoftware testingBinary codeLevel (video gaming)Twin primeIdentity managementMathematical analysisHypothesisExploit (computer security)Virtual machineSystem callInformationSocial classServer (computing)WeightBitAddress spaceDisk read-and-write headVideo gameBasis <Mathematik>Real numberMeasurementMetropolitan area networkExistential quantificationNoise (electronics)Point (geometry)CAPTCHALink (knot theory)Cartesian coordinate systemPiBuildingDialectAreaStandard deviationEntire functionPlanningAsynchronous Transfer ModeExecution unitCurveArmRoboticsFilter <Stochastik>Set (mathematics)Web 2.0Complex (psychology)Integrated development environmentSelf-organizationLocal area networkDegree (graph theory)Graph coloringFilm editingWater vaporQuicksortDressing (medical)NumberGame theoryFigurate numberOptical disc driveGroup actionGradientEvoluteGastropod shellFeedbackLengthMaizeTowerUniverse (mathematics)Expected valueAuthorizationOrientation (vector space)Metric systemRule of inferenceFactorizationTape driveProcess (computing)SoftwareCentralizer and normalizerBusiness modelBlack boxCopyright infringementFehlerschrankeIdeal (ethics)2 (number)InternetworkingMedical imagingAttribute grammarFlickrBus (computing)Data miningStapeldateiType theoryHoaxBlogPort scannerOnline helpSoftware bugView (database)Motion captureInformation securityObservational studyShooting methodGoogle+Derivation (linguistics)Absolute valueBookmark (World Wide Web)CybersexArithmetic meanPresentation of a groupSpecial unitary group
Transcript: English(auto-generated)
00:00
As I said in my biography, this talk is dedicated to two heroes that we've lost recently, Ronald Reagan and Macho Man Randy Savage. I'd like to add a special note also for Bubba, who recently died of police academy fame. Good guy.
00:21
So I didn't have time to Photoshop him in. Also, I've never seen him in a cowboy hat. But what I'd like everyone in the audience to do to demonstrate your love of these great American icons is I'm going to shout America. And I want you all to shout, fuck yeah. So America, nicely done.
00:42
OK. Get this going. So welcome to the art of trolling. I submitted this talk actually as a joke. I did not expect it to be accepted.
01:00
I've submitted it. Yeah. So I, like many of you, have probably submitted many great talks to Def Con that have been technical and brilliant and insidious in many natures. And they get turned down every time. The one time I submit a talk that's kind of stupid, it gets accepted.
01:21
So it goes to show. OK. Can you still hear me? I've got one of these. That's probably what the feedback is. So OK. Raise your hand if you can't hear me.
01:42
OK. So I'm Matt Joyce. I'm also known as OpenFly. I am someone who's actually trolled people before, sadly. And this next slide is important. So trolling is innately going to piss some people off.
02:01
Hopefully, none of you are going to get pissed off at me. And for the duration of the talk, try to suspend your hatred. And whether or not what I'm talking about is ethical or not, it's irrelevant. But it's more about the technology, the mythology, and the lulls, which is important. So we're going to move on.
02:22
The troll. We need to agree on a definition of what a troll is. A lot of different definitions of troll have been bandied about across the years. And with things like LulzSec and so on and Anonymous running around, a lot of different people are trying to fuck with what the word troll means. And it's become, oh my god, I'm going
02:43
to go protest people killing the whales. That's a troll. It's not. So we're going to go with a couple of these. Really bad definitions are kind of great. The one that really is the best is the one at the very bottom on the cyber bullying laws
03:02
definition. I love that it makes the assumption that everyone is genuinely helpful that gets trolled. And they're emotionally distraught as a result of it. So I actually kind of like that definition. I troll them. But here's my definition. I came up with this, and I think
03:22
it's pretty much one of the better troll definitions out there. It does involve a 30-year-old single scotch. If you don't drink, you should start. If it's against your religion or morality, you can't be a troll, sorry. Sun Tzu quotes. I'd like to see more of them in conferences
03:40
because I know it pisses off attrition.org. So if you do submit or present here, Sun Tzu quotes throughout all of it. Don't even have to actually be quotes. Just tag them. OK. So before we get into modern day trolling, let's go back in time to the prehistory when the world was young and people
04:01
were discovering that trolls not only carried big things and hung onto bridges, they also pissed people off. So God is not a troll. In Judeo-Christianity, God, a lot of people were telling me this guy's a troll. He's not. This is proof. This is Bethel. A bunch of kids made a joke about one of his prophets,
04:21
and he summoned bears. That's not funny. That's just dick. But God had a son. Jesus is a troll. He walked around in the Middle East preaching, everyone
04:42
being friends with each other. The last guy to do that was George W. Bush. Aww. Loki, kind of a bad ass. But a lot of people don't know that his best friend was a long wolf, which was kind of important.
05:03
And of course, Loki needs no introduction. Everyone knows him. But Prometheus, a lot of people don't know the full story about how much of a troll this guy was. He was fucking dedicated. So everyone knows about him stealing fire. But does anyone know the real story behind why he stole the fire?
05:21
It all started as a practical joke. Homeslice was like, OK, Zeus is at a banquet with all the other gods and a couple of titans. They're hanging out. They're going to decide what Zeus is going to get as an offering from the people of Earth. So Prometheus, being the asshole that he is, basically dresses up bones inside of pig fat and makes it look really good.
05:41
Then he dresses up meat inside of the bowels of swine. If you're Scottish, it might appeal to you, but Zeus was obviously not happy. So Zeus picks the bones. He ends up with bones being dedicated to him by the people of Earth. And being the asshole that Zeus is, he goes, OK, well, if I can't get my meat, no one else can either, and steals fire from people.
06:01
Prometheus, not about to let his joke die, steals fire back to people being the biggest asshole in, I guess, whatever Greek mythology. That's a good one. So for his crime, he ended up being chained to a rock and had eagles ripping out his flesh and then growing back every day, which,
06:22
severe dedication. Good guy. Then there's the coyote. The coyote is probably the most positive figure of a troll in the history of Native American lore. He teaches many good and wonderful lessons,
06:41
and he's kind of great. A lot of people think another good one would be like the African guy, Anansi. Anansi was not that cool. Anansi basically stole everything good he ever did from other animals. All of his stories, he basically jacked. Thus, patron saint of 419 scammers.
07:04
This guy is a modern day icon. So Stabby here was inadvertently part of a troll. We picked him up as an orphan robot at Resistor. Some guy walks in and says, hey, does anyone want a robot arm? And you never say no to that, ever.
07:21
So anyways, Stabby's hanging out with us. We're going to the TechCrunch Hack Day, where there's a whole bunch of web entrepreneurs doing their hackathons, doing their startup businesses, including the AOL team, which, by the way, failed it hard. We brought in a giant pneumatic arm connected to a blade, and we hooked it up with Twilio,
07:42
set it up so that people could contact the stabbing arm via the phone, choose the mode of stabbing, and then we had a little stabber ID connected to it to fire it up. We thought this was hilarious. It turns out so did everyone else at the TechCrunch, and we ended up coming in 14th place of three.
08:02
But we were still invited to the row of winners, of the three people who won. And they made us an honorary runner-up, just so that they could get us into the row of people that were actually presenting real business models at TechCrunch. So people would be coming down the aisle and going, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, what's this?
08:22
It stabs people. You guys are trying to sell this. So now we're going to get back to classical trolling. A lot of people may know some of this stuff. The big ones are logical fallacies.
08:41
These are how you talk to someone, piss someone off through conversation. This is the one most people encounter. It's also the one that most people are unprepared to deal with, because our American educational system has glossed over the fact that our brains basically have fundamental flaws in them. It's real easy to make someone say something stupid or believe something utterly insane.
09:01
So I've basically taken the highlights comic books here and reworded them to illustrate. So appeal to authority is a great one. I personally like to choose an authority no one else recognizes, which I've kind of illustrated in the top one where some guy's taking advice from his dad who's pouring orange juice on the markets of the Orient.
09:21
Obviously, he does not have a monocle or a top hat, so he knows nothing of the markets of the Orient. But he's an authority figure. Move on over here. We've got the appeal to probability. What are the odds? And this one is actually kind of useful, especially when dealing with people in academia who rely upon probability.
09:40
Simplest Antler is likely the most likely. Yeah. The best part about this is people have presumption of what the actual odds are. So sometimes you can actually convince something is untrue when it's actually true because the actual odds are not understood.
10:03
Denying the antecedents kind of great. Just because this is wrong doesn't mean this is right. You know, great ways of talking with people, but note the top one. That one's important. 9-11 trolling is some of the best out there.
10:21
Now, the great part is everyone's covered the obvious stuff now. The Israelis did it. The CIA did it. It's important to take a positive spin on this and go at it from another angle and be like our heroic CIA agents were killed in a botched attempt to blow up the towers by terrorists who actually struck on the same day.
10:43
Go for insane, arcane, and you can have a lot of fun with this one. And no matter what you do, you're going to piss people off. Denying the antecedent here is crucial. So, the argument from ignorance. Basically on this one, evolution and creationism arguments
11:02
are basically founded about them. And those are also great. One reason it's great is because there's dinosaurs involved and everyone loves dinosaurs. So we got the raptor Jesus, people running around on top of triceratops. It's pretty great. Arguments from ignorance are really easy to do
11:20
and the problem with them is you can't use them on an audience like you guys. You guys actually have a fairly decent breath of knowledge where you're going to sit there and go, this doesn't work. But if you're ever at Bible study and you want to fuck with people, this works. So this is Adolph and Hans discussing correlative fallacies.
11:43
While I was doing these, I got progressively worse and at some point they switched over from being Connor and Mark to Adolph and Hans. So, correlative fallacies are the best on Earth. In fact, correlative fallacies are so badass that doctoral thesis people will actually get into real serious pissing matches
12:02
over whether or not their correlative analysis is actually correct. And you can take this to every level. So you can argue over percentage error in a test three layers below someone else's test. This is basically how the people argue about whether or not the world is global warming or global cooling.
12:21
You can argue any which way and just prove any argument using correlative fallacies and correlative analysis. But you can also do horrible, horrible things with them as shown in the top one. Okay, hold on. I will read it aloud for you because somebody asked.
12:41
So, the little boy says, I wonder why the black guy always dies first in these films. To his, you know, darker-skinned friend. Well, it's obvious the reason black dudes always die first in horror movies
13:03
is because they are genetically inferior to us Aryan folk. I don't actually believe that. In fact, my identical twin brother is African-American. Thank God he's not here right now.
13:23
So, historian fallacies are also great because you can go with some really arcane, ridiculously wonderful shit with these. So, I've done a couple of good ones here. They're good. I personally prefer the one to the right where the kid's insinuating, you know, there are only 300 of us, you say, but, you know,
13:42
I ask you what Leonidas could do with 300. Choosing people out of history and taking them into the wrong era is wonderful because people are taught growing up that these are important stories that give us a message of hope and prosperity and so on. But, obviously, many of them are, you know, they're not the norm.
14:03
These are exceptional people in exceptional times and exceptional circumstances which makes them great. The false dilemma. Okay, the false dilemma is a really good one. This one actually works on a lot of people and it works in two ways.
14:21
One, it can easily get them turned around and the other one is it can infuriate them to the point that they lose coherence in their brain. They just go, it's like idiot mode for fury. And you all know what idiot mode is, right? You start talking with large technical terms and everyone just eyes glaze over and believe everything you say. I'm sure most of the infosec people in here know all about that.
14:44
There are entire business models based on it. Yeah, I said it. Okay, so we'll move on from there. The young Republican with the If By Whiskey. I just love the name of the If By Whiskey.
15:05
It's kind of a way to compliment someone while calling them an asshole. And, you know, it's the ultimate high form of policy. It's, yes, I agree with you. It's wonderful that you support stopping the slaughter of whales. But, you know, whales are godless killing machines.
15:23
Something to that effect. Maybe a little bit better. I came with that up the top of the head. Moving on. Behavior modification. So, I did a little bit of research on this because behavior modification is one of those things that a lot of research has been done on.
15:41
A lot of it was done in the 50s and it was done by people who were attempting to stop communists, gays, fascists, anyone you could think of. The Iris.
16:03
Obviously didn't work. So, this is the important part for you guys. You're InfoSec professionals. You have to stop viewing people as people. View them as software. A lot of the same things are true.
16:20
You just look at them as a black box design and you're basically fuzzing the ever-loving crap out of the person until you see a response that looks anomalous. Then you pick at it like a scab. Most of this is basically how most trolling works on any basis. It's look, find, exploit. So, this little bastard right here was the first bot I ever wrote.
16:45
I was on IRC a lot in college and I needed to go to class. Yes. Yeah, only college. So, it goes back that far. But I was on IRC a lot in college. A lot. And I needed to go to class.
17:00
So, what I did was I automated myself on IRC so that I could continue to call people names and harass people while I wasn't there. So, this bot basically just sat on there, responded to certain people and if it heard its name it would make certain responses that I would usually make.
17:21
It would occasionally say things that I would usually say and no one caught on to it for something like three or four weeks. And the only reason they did catch it was because it was responding just a little too quickly. So, this is A, great, hilarious, but B, also made me feel like I'm a vapid tool. So, actual modification of human behavior
17:45
involves changing people's surroundings. So, these are the Martin and Paris seven characteristics that I pulled off Wikipedia and they are actual behavior modification guidelines, if you will. So, what I've done with these is I've modified them to meet my needs
18:01
and I've called them the seven characteristics of behavior modification. For the most part, they're important, but one of them relies a lot on accountability and responsibility and being ethical. This one doesn't. Exactly the opposite. Zero accountability is absolutely vital. The fact that I'm talking to you is only happening
18:21
because I don't do as much horrible crap as I used to do. One of the guys in the front row here actually chased me down a hallway the first time I met him when he found out that I was the guy from IRC. So, you've got to be careful doing this. You know, lots of proxies. Lulz sec the shit out of yourself.
18:42
But, my second version of the bot kind of made fun of that. It basically worked off of IRC logs and it generated a whole bunch of separate bots that would live off of an IRC log. It would see a new character enter, enter into a channel based off of that character's enter time and repeat the text that it said at that time.
19:00
And there was multiple different ways you could use this. The primary one is that you could take a very busy channel, record the traffic and replay it into a channel that you didn't like and flood the hell out of it and no one would realize it was being flooded because they'd see different people having real conversations, not realizing it. They're all bots. So, when I was demoing this for the people at Noisebridge,
19:23
I pre-demoed it on a German IRC server using an IRC log based off of the Hacker's Movie script. So, it rejoined all the characters in time with the movie and had them talk to each other as such. That was interesting. I have two versions of that. The one on my website is actually for using...
19:42
What's that stupid site called? FreeNode, is it? No, not FreeNode. Tor, that's the one. Yeah, sorry about that. The reason all the Tor nodes don't work on things like IRC or forums is people like me. It was too easy. We used them all, then we went back to proxies,
20:00
which are a bitch to find. Unless, of course, you're one of those horrible people who, you know, steals them. So, this is a very important piece of technology right here. 3D scanning. And with the help of the MakerBot team at Maker Faire this year, I helped them get 3D scans of the moon. My moon.
20:22
That's my ass. It's on Thingiverse. It's open source. There's a lot of different technology in trolling and you can use all of it, I assure you. So, this one's kind of my favorite and most famous. I got bored one day and embedded an MP3 player inside of a hand grenade.
20:46
This ended up on a whole bunch of blogs. Fine. It even hit Boing Boing and Hackaday, which is great. But a couple months later, the TSA found it on my Flickr feed and blogged about it. Not once, but twice. Basically, my MP3 player personally
21:00
is never allowed on an airplane. The really great part here, and I'll leave it to all of you guys to bitch the TSA about it, is none of them actually provide the attribution and this is a Creative Commons image. Have some fun with that.
21:28
Okay. So, this one's another good one. How many people here are familiar with SchmooCon? Yeah, it's really hard to get tickets. Luckily, one year, a friend of mine was there and contacted us the Friday of SchmooCon starting.
21:43
I was about to grab a bus down from New York and he goes, you're never going to believe this shit. These guys have actually made their badges out of fucking plastic. And I'm like, okay, get a dollar bill, send us a picture on your cell phone. He does. We marked up a whole bunch of fake badges and laser cut all of them.
22:01
This one was massively scaled in bubblegum pink. We had another one that was normally scaled in bubblegum pink but with a unicorn on it. We also made five black badges because that was one of the most common types of plastic we had and we made five of them. I didn't realize that black was actually being used. When we got there, we realized, holy crap,
22:20
not only is black being used, it's the organizer badge. So, as far as I know, only one person managed to get into the conference with one of the black badges because I only gave one out before I found out that that wasn't allowed. But somebody did get in with the giant bubblegum pink badge which was confiscated and then sold to charity.
22:43
But yeah, interestingly enough, this is water cut. You could probably plasma cut some derivative or just use cardboard and color it right and you could probably screw up their game because, note how this has numbers and some sort of game involved with it. So did theirs. We changed the barcode to basically say, fuck you.
23:03
People were scanning the barcode, seeing fuck you and going, how does this work into the game? They thought that our badges were like some sort of secret game. This one I have to note because DNA is prolific in the world of trolling
23:21
and I'm sure there's members out here. I would like to say that Timefag is a douche and I'd like to know when Databayo is going back with Naruto again. So Trollforge was something that they set up. Initially it was private and then they went public
23:41
and then they went private again and then they went public again and then somebody stole the tar ball and now it's on an EU and I don't know why. Trollforge was hilarious because they created their own version of trolling software and I suggest looking at this because it will give you a great insight into how trolls go about bypassing filters. This is actual infosec research.
24:00
These guys will actually go after failures in things like CAPTCHA systems and this right here is basically four or five years old but demonstrates the degree of complexity that was involved in bypassing and fucking with people on forums. Highly capable people doing utterly worthless crap and then you wonder, this is how LulzSec comes around.
24:23
When someone gets very bored. Yes, if you all want to know, LulzSec is actually ran by a guy named Villan. V-I-L-L-A-N. You can find him on Pound Lush on Ryzen.
24:42
A lot of people don't know that. It's true. This one is my favorite. I never did this but whoever the hell did this gets a hell of a lot of points. This is a 4chan troll. Basically someone called up and convinced Oprah Winfrey that there were over 9,000 penises out there raping children.
25:02
And she went on the air thinking that there was a real organization out there that had over 9,000 penises all raping children. It said it in that exact way. I really have no other way to explain that. That's just, it's astounding.
25:24
Okay, ethics. This is kind of important. It's hard to get into. So when you first start out, this is like hacking.
25:42
It's like playing. You can play with your friends. That's okay. You can play with people that you don't know in environments where you expect people to play with you. That's okay. Like if you're on IRC, there's a certain expectation that you're going to be fucked with. When you're on the DEFCON network, there's a certain expectation you're going to be fucked with.
26:02
When you're at a Walmart, gets a little gray. When you're at your cousin's wedding, there are certain things you just don't do. You can apply that or you could be more moral about it. But the end result is how you choose to go about playing with things like this
26:23
is moderately important. But the most important rule out there has nothing to do with ethics. It has to do with being funny. If you're going to be a dick, you better be funny.
26:43
Otherwise, you're going to end up getting stabbed in the face or something. It happens. It'll probably happen tonight. No, he's not. Actually, he's in New York. I'll tell you a quick story about Mr. Stabby because I've got some time.
27:03
Mr. Stabby, we pick him up, we're working on him. We originally set him up as just trying to figure out his wiring and fix the pneumatics on him. We're setting up basically a piñata party with the robotic arm. This is actually where he got his name. We got very drunk and the pneumatics arm wasn't doing a very good job of smashing the hell out of the piñata.
27:24
So, Brie Piedis, if you've ever met him, was inebriated and ran up to him and goes, I've got an idea. Well, many of you think Brie has great ideas. Some of his ideas are less than great. This one was, let me hand the robot a knife.
27:45
So, he didn't like duct tape it in there. Just little two pincer arms. He tries to attach like a butcher's knife to it. We're sitting there going, he's going to kill somebody. So, I'm walking up to him and he's like, dude, doesn't your lease have the three laws of robotics in it?
28:02
Turns out his lease does have the three laws of robotics in it. Not only that, he didn't put them in. But Mr. Stabby at that party, apparently someone got enamored with him. And we woke up the next morning and found out that he had been profiled in the Columbia newspaper,
28:21
like Columbia University's newspaper. Someone had done a very serious background check on where the robot came from, where he was manufactured, contact with the manufacturers, tried to figure out where it was sent and who it did work for. And they got as far as the university that it was sold to in the 70s. And then nothing. No one knows where it spent 20 years and suddenly ended up on it.
28:45
For those who didn't hear, the argument is jail. Entirely possible. So, that's the origin of Stabby. Okay.
29:01
So, what did we learn thus far? Trolls are heavy contributors to cultural values. And that's true. For every hacker out there, there is a troll. In fact, the original hacking began with defacements for the most part. Well, not the original, but the stuff that we did. The stuff that people of my age group grew up in.
29:21
We had defacers like LulzSec everywhere. We all knew them. We had HackWizer, Global Hal, all these funny people. In fact, let me tell you a quick story because I really don't have as many slides left as I thought. So, this is a good one. In college, we set up a honeypot.
29:41
It was my alpha. We set it up as a shell server and handed it over to the HackWizer internal IRC server and said, this is a compromised machine. Please use it through one of their members. And then we had TTY Snoop set up and we watched what everyone was doing on the machine and pulled their exploits. One guy hopped on with three gigs of binaries and it attempted to execute every last one of them in a row.
30:06
X86 binaries. We watched this guy for two hours attempt to run every single binary he had on an alpha. So, this is the level of competency you see in people who are script kiddies. But the level of hilarity that comes out of them is also fairly great.
30:24
LulzSec basically took SQL I and turned it into an art form. They're all going to jail eventually, but they were hilarious. And that's important. Art evokes behavior. It evokes emotion.
30:40
The modern behavior modification technique is kind of true. We haven't seen the full impact of that yet. You haven't seen trolls get fully involved with Google Plus or with Facebook. There are a couple of folks out there. One of my friends, Tom Ryan David Blackhawk, taught last year about tracking people with insidious intent on the internet using a fake woman named Robin Sage, who by the way is my girlfriend.
31:07
He fucked her. So, the reality is instead of creating one person on there, I could quickly modify one of my scripts to create a thousand people on Google Plus. I have a script that I didn't finish in time for this event, but is mostly done.
31:23
And what it does is it generates fake graphs. Easy to do in gneplot. And thanks to the guys who broke into MIT and stole all those doctoral journals, you can now associate any one of those graphs with a doctoral journal. Just say, this graph is from there.
31:41
And most people will believe you. In fact, this has worked in academia. The problem that you're going to run into with behavior modification is people are innately trusting of certain areas. People are innately expecting things to be right in certain regions.
32:01
They're just like machines. You throw them a curve ball at the right time and they're going to fail. So, defining standards in the practical application of cutting edge technology. It's kind of true. Trollforge and other people basically standardized the way in which you interact with bypass and capture systems.
32:22
So that their scripts would work between different forum units and so on and so forth. It's pretty vital to technology that people continue to play with stuff. It's pretty vital that they take their playing to the next level and build from there.
32:41
So, these are references I added. Pretty straightforward. The Trollforge one is on there. Behavior modification is on there. Music piracy links are to the grenade and a couple of other scripts I added. And I'll add more as the week goes by. But at this point, I'd like to ask anyone for questions.
33:06
Magnets. Actually, there is a guy in the audience right now that has a great response to that. My friend Aesthetics over there from Noisebridge had a phenomenal troll.
33:24
The Noisebridge crew got together and went to a clown posse concert. And they offered to do a science fair. Insane clown polytechnic, right.
33:40
So they're trying to teach them how magnets work, how rainbows work. Scientist Juggalos, just not the clowns that you showed me. Those girls were, oh God. I assure you. Oh, we got another question. Yes, and my name is actually registered to it if you want my home address.
34:06
I am a pirate. Okay. Don't tell any of the people I work for that I am, though. Just between us. How do I answer that?
34:30
A big part of what we do is manifest destiny.
34:41
What? Shipping supplies. Plenty of shipping supplies. Is anyone getting this joke? Oh, yeah. This is a good one, by the way. Convert all of your measurements for data to imperial.
35:02
I've been using hog heads of bytes recently on the internet just to fuck with people. And they actually believe it's real. It works. Okay, any more questions? Ah. So this is important. I wasn't lying about that.
35:20
This guy, Villain, we've known him for a little while. He's kind of shady. We thought he was a New Yorker for a while. He really wasn't. Turns out he was a fed. And this is all secondhand. But Villain was basically running around on the internet, being a baller, hanging out with the women, you know.
35:41
Boozing, schmoozing. Sending us lots of updates about his life. And we realized that he was very quiet whenever LulzSec was doing anything big. And he would drop off of IRC and he started targeting people that we knew, like 2600Nets, IRC servers, and they got hit by a whole bunch of LulzSec people. And we were like, okay, we've got to know this guy. He knows all the same places we do.
36:02
And we talked to each other. We all confirmed that we were all not involved except for Villain. No one could figure out Villain's actual contact info. So I highly recommend, if there are any federations in the audience, you hunt this Villain down.
36:28
Villain is large and blonde. Very blonde. Okay, any more questions? You.
36:47
Okay. Anyone else? No one really? Oh, I got one.
37:03
I can't make out what you're saying. Shout it. You know what? This is an important lesson.
37:21
If you can't hear someone, just respond with something that sounds like what you thought. Yes, absolutely. Wholly from my heart, deeply and morally, I believe everything that you just said. I would kill to defend those ideals. Okay, anyone else?
37:49
Okay. Actually, this is a good argument. If you ever want to deal with a fucking European, one, they know jack shit about our geography. They give us shit for not knowing their geography.
38:01
Most of them don't know anything about ours. They think that fucking, you know, Idaho is next to New Jersey. Also, the metric system is retarded. For reals, if anyone ever actually thought about this for more than five seconds, they'd figure it out. Yes, you can divide by ten. It's decimal. Yeah, woohoo. You can't fucking have it, quarter it, and third it like you can a twelve or a base sixteen system.
38:25
And base sixteen goes into binary. It's a 2n. And it's a perfect square. Fuck metric.
38:43
No, it's a conspiracy. It never happened. If I had to choose a running mate, Christopher Walken. That man would kill for me, I'm sure. Okay.
39:05
Not only did we land on the moon, we killed God when we got up there. I stole that from The Onion, but my God, that's a wonderful piece of literature. I highly recommend reading it. Okay, anyone else? You.
39:21
Ah, so glorious agents of our Central Intelligence Politburo charged valiantly into the buildings, intent on destroying the edifice to capitalism that was ruining our nation. However, unbeknownst to them, radical Islamists, like this guy right here,
39:40
look at that fucking beard, basically destroyed the building. They had no idea there was actually going to be a terrorist attack that was actually successful. What were the fucking odds? Yeah? I'm sorry, I can only speak the truth.
40:07
Crap flooding. There's actually this bot that actually goes on IRC. I don't know if any of you have actually met it, but it basically talks about shitting. That's the actual crap flooding bot. That's all it does.
40:25
Yeah, maybe. I was promised cake too. All I got was a beer. It's pretty good though. Thank you.
40:42
Okay, I've got ten minutes. More questions. Shoot. Babies. Okay. About what?
41:04
Oh yeah, trolls are highly important to reproduction. If there are any ladies out there, I highly recommend.
41:22
Okay, I'm going to call this talk because people are walking away.