Biological viruses have existed and evolved for millions of years, maliciously exploiting host cells for survival. How have they done this, and what can we learn from it? Extremely advanced mechanisms for privilege escalation, persistence, and defence evasion have been used by biological viruses long before malware was first written. This talk will provide an understanding of what mechanisms are used by biological viruses to exploit immune defences, persist, and survive in the arms race with the immune system. Surprising differences between malware and virus actions will be shown, and some mechanisms which are used by viruses, but have not been adopted, or even attempted by malware, will be revealed. No biological background is needed, only an open mind.