What if Professor X and Magneto formed the X-Men together? What if Jessica Jones had joined the Avengers? What if Tony Stark wrote Ruby? (Okay, I made that last one up, but we'd probably all read it.) This talk, in the mode of Marvel's What if... ? comics, explores what Ruby 3 might look like if key decisions in its history had been (or might be) made differently. We'll look at three "what if"s in particular: "what if Ruby had a static type system?", "what if Ruby ran in the browser?", and "what if Ruby didn't have a global interpreter lock?"