Keynote - Anxiety, Self-Advocacy, and Promoting Yourself

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Over the last 10 years (and really, her entire life), Tracy’s struggled with anxiety while running her own business, navigating negotiations, and self-publishing several books. This keynote will go through recommendations for keeping your sanity in a dog eat dog world, reducing anxiety, feeling comfortable with negotiation, and above all, being the best advocate for yourself that you can be.
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Computer animation Videoconferencing Website Line (geometry) Freeware
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Point (geometry) Mapping View (database) Decision theory Multiplication sign Line (geometry) Number Mathematics Arithmetic mean Term (mathematics) Large eddy simulation Video game Right angle
Multiplication sign Planning Set (mathematics) Online help Multilateration Lattice (order) Rule of inference Neuroinformatik Mathematics Software Personal digital assistant Charge carrier Video game Iteration
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in a in he relied on tracing I'm so excited to be here this is like coming home I been too many ding of conservation years and for the last years of the monkey to speak at a future plans and now I'm here he keynoting and my heart is so full time so so excited to be here but i put my but varying not darling because if you want to contact me I generally recommends to do it via Twitter or you can e-mail me and say backward dominoes like avenues username line daring everyone the world including myself consul in this like mixes up with lime darling on so that they're at the very beginning but you know quite a state if I I and wondering on the internet the my note of about books who here my
books so we couldn't have had a video at the I think I wrote these so published and a design them which is pretty awesome taking the latter part of the these networks to introduce people to Django largely because of the way that I choose the sulfur jingo islands I want to know I fell in love with Django as a web designer has started a start up and decided write these books attorney hope for people to get into that and it's been started thinking to anyone in the audience if you're part of this their campaigns thank you so much supporting me if you bought the book I think you think you think you I'm in the process of writing a 3rd but
I have I by if you've kick-started this 3rd book it's heating designed for programmers I will hopefully have an update very very serious having having a debate now that long story short and I don't have the release stated early September October but as well there's a Turkic sir campaign think you anyone was about that 1 back to Helen that have
I did know because I'm working on this line but hell about I took all the text and put it on the web site the entirety of the book is on the website free online I'm sitting of anyone who wants to learn more agenda or want another resource for learning jingo you want try something else out look at how that it is free like please use it out and you can still buy that iraq we want still videos I hereby intermediate concepts the 2nd book but the 1st book is online for anyone to use it and the that's why I do it here justified
that thing I usually do have written books I also run the start of should making money off on it the whole the promissory now they had 3 people working under me that are being paid and it's Austin Fulton employees and so and this is the start of and running for the last 7 or so years it's really cool bishop had curating
nuclide because upon 2011 is when I I 1st taught myself Django to launch what was which for into wedding lovely today I didn't talk this is my 1st talk ever at a conference to school you us that's the 6 years later I learned from talk to keynote which is you 1st talk to keynote at the same conference of really really awesome back here it secondly air
and this recent your credit card way too much and like really solve the myself here might sure here right now and with the best of like the this not least ideal lot
comfort speaking now this is my 1st he knows that fluency and you know it's a big deal when they have a giant projection of your face behind you fanciful and spoke
at I Jing upon Europe earlier this year along with a bunch of other other conferences so that's that concludes the
portion of my talk of the environment so and have a motivational speaker it is funny because as a kid I saw a lot of motivational speakers right my high school and I was like I want to leave you and there's like a while my life is awesome and here's how your life to be answer which is kind of doing here but the thing is a new washing his motivational speakers if you if I was when I was an introvert high anxiety very very shy and he sees motivational speakers and I want to be there and there's there's little voice may have insects I can't follow the advice because there is no initial speakers these people have they know what they're doing and they're always like that you know those kids in like grade school is like Austin kids and know what they're doing and there's like super ambitious and like outgoing and you like 0 yeah this motivational speaker they've always been that they were those kids a was times up and bond and what happened in the and so you know he sees motivational speakers of the light I and here's also bias you might be thinking I had a bias is not tied to be because I don't fit that mind-set I'm not and lots of going like that and I can't help but like that because I'm an introvert literature I think I have anxiety making exciting advice is not applied in a the Advisory modernist this talk I and that kind of go over my life because I and not connection word I don't hear in a cell in your doing that's been like 5 years of really hard work to get to this point it's been really really hard is why I was I I was a really screwed up OK I was I had a lot of issues talking people had a lot of the bad thoughts about it provided trust strangers that trust people are given that story that I want to start this talk out with this huge a schema of my life as like come go and he's like 0 yeah here's some things you can do you prove your career and you become more outgoing and it's not because I always been outgoing myself babysitting thing that really helped me get over these these issues I had growing up the the signal on work to get to where I am right now it's taken a lot of shortcuts had to figure out a lot of tactics in order to get myself to be comfortable on stage to be comfortable running a start up fund raising the start writing a book and help self writing book there's a lot of things I've learned last years I've got news point is taken me from this like really like you know I a touring right now yeah act and owns my little background story later how how I although I came here when I was tumor pairs of as it to image but like Fermi basically my parents were never never again there always separate people lived in separate houses and when they divorced from the courts at the time the eighties I you know it's no mother and father my dad was a wonderful stable stable person very wonderful position of anomaly while she loves me very much was an alcoholic was substance issues the fortunately the courts at the time they favor the mother so my dad had the choice of the there was losing custody of me entirely new in my mom or to do this system of 1 year 1 year after 1 year of my God here if I'm wrong when you're right I wonder if on and that's why that was the best deal and I don't get so that was my life of growing up I was moving constantly and it was like a month in the same town because of her issues we moved at least every year sometimes multiple years so young growing up it was going going to mom's new district Elad all over California Bay area are constantly new schools new friends invited me in my suitcase being transferred between parents and a 8 the McDonald's parking lot in Vallejo at the strange thing is is with my mom is always a new school year a new school just like New school District a new friends but is actually harder going back to my dad's because he was in the same place and I would go back to the school I was before and all my friends are my friends from that 2 years before you know everyone school knew who I was but all my friends have moved on inside a remake new friends with this really weird like like knowing but not knowing the people of Don King of all economic like those years I was the new kid people to seek me out with my dad was yeah and enzyme bring this picture job because I'm
ligious cowboys my family is that the sum in my dad yeah
so but when I was 12 things are getting worse and worse and worse for me my as I was growing up I and the inferred from the to every year go out and make new friends and certain you but you know in the school so 12 miles back my dad and I just gave up and decided I was not an friends anymore like it was it was just 2 more an ulcer tall they're going to rely on issues and as I just couldn't handle it and can handle people and distrusted everyone had this like mentality that all these kids in school heating and so I say the friends of and I would spend my my lunch is is look on her out of the quad like in the store where the teacher and China were bringing in asking me like Tracy you what friends to play ladies not obvious like why am I here this prior like that cost you can go back to the relative now another 6 months and this this 1 girl like took pity on me and she would I remember her comments maybe like Tracy we are your friends and I might need not which is weird response you might respond well into that no really we're friends like stop stop doing whatever you're doing an apple fancies kids do is the walking together and I noise and use of our stock averages that keep on walking and no one's the I know in there and I would do that multiple times and it always turn around like other tree the come on and what you do it so like 6 months of giving up to 6 months of this this 1 girl decided making her project into the reintroducing into having friends but then this mental feeling about people about distrust of strangers is like this how hard it is to make friends of getting into groups and being completely scared and is shutting down this is something I still struggle with to this day I school was better for me I will at the end of that talking about 12 years old in my 7th grade I told my parents I was not move anymore which is a really shitty thing for a kid to have to do is to tell the mother died like time on an upper limit you any of my dad it was rough but as soon as I stop moving I went for d students in a student I surrogate friends in high school I was with the misfits tool play Dutch dragon in high school actually really cool time for me but they moving to the I'm going to university you leaving all in this group people I'd I collected these people I felt safer university my 1st year was just wait right back to my folder self I went back to not trusting people not friends and yet another year away it with me not really making friends I made 1 friend that you're on my my dorm room like when Linux or neighbor and we of living in the 2nd year and 2nd year started making a friends of my own and she commits mean to I was going out but the 1st time intersectoral up you think I did you still have the Fermi because he knew how hard it was for me to like go out there and like the people so these issues were or in head and stuck in my head these this distress of other people are another I don't want to buy their life events in this time because an enormously alcoholic with substance issues and the alcoholism slowly killing her during this time in high school was you she be hostile every now and then then University issues in hospital a lot more than just every now and then and so my i times in university was counseling going up and was last again account of neighbors that you take away in an ambulance and it was you know drop disagrees so in my dad my wonderful wonderful died out had originally diagnosed with melanoma in high school and know that it's never really paid attention and when I was 21 was the renowned on came back and also at this point is
my analysis that while I was 21 years I never read Nisus with melanoma in Maine and he died September this is actually this is actually 5 days before he died it is an eye on his birthday my refused to attend his brother's for a so we got together for my birthday and and it was all like being cancer also think about the have a birthday together like we usually do and the next day it just went downhill and died on to refer it my mom
saliva not barely so and in the next year and a half at you have later we kinda strange I start talking her right and see her for 6 months before he died so I was 22 and the years of 22 to 25 I was in and out of the begin depression by the social anxiety issues transformed into panic attacks the point of where packet happen happen out entries are physically hurting myself because when you're emotional pain is so great what what he do you think I was physical pain destructive so from emotional pain they don't myself and is really really deep hole it's really strange looking at myself now at 32 33 3 months that less than 10 years ago I was completely different person I had some across these problems a talking to people as problems of being social problems of having confidence myself this people of I was in that has slowly start like climbing out of because I still do that I I like to build things I wanted to to build things others people to use and this process I know I need to get out the whole in order to to be up here to be giving a keynote the so I know when he's always like to take a view of the cycle Iago negotiates will alert you know go and do the things I know how hard it has some you know how hard uh you know this is the thing that and try and overcome the last few years and FYI on reminded the and if you are going to issues like this resulting it's with talk to please e-mail me and love to help people out if you have anxiety issues you have kind actually I like I'd been there and I wanna help them the so climbing out this will
be an advocate for yourself like having to take life by the reason and jump off the cliff and do things they're scary these are the things that we select the top tips I've learned over last few years and have helped me build from that person when I was a 4 2 now they advice is not 1 size fits all the things that I mentioned here like are not an applied unilaterally to everyone in this audience my goal is that there's a 1 thing here like I can use that 1 thing to improve my life or career so F is applied here to later stance it's me this is the work of my life I I really hope at least 1 thing works out for you right of number 1 of the worst they can say this now that the top office charisma my career i in university I I start working at the start up and it was like was like 0 assertive approach me over certain you guys in a garage near like hair bone website but we need a designer you want to work with us my sure so without websites are happening at that downside garage and start hacking together which is pretty cool like Lynch started at and this this is really fine that we went in the garage I graduate university in move that's the B area turned into the from this like brought budget due to the garage to like natural company in the bay area and start working than full time as a designer may end up working for about 4 years I was like these my friends like these are people labor of build this website this collection of websites is in online education region company which is kind of weird if I am not like the sexiest thing to be in the news all equally these bunch these guys and they were like where workers together a building up a little far we've come rather me walking away at us from this but but buckets of money yeah so now I work and for like 4 and half years in total run the 4th year by it's my teacher has been on the end and if I change my life in funny ways you know not just obvious like 0 you get married ways so we started we make but it is I was wondering so Andre's that author of your 3 is a Python as well you'll trees using request peptidoglycan stuff I so under a when I 1st met Theo him this is a typical for him somehow in our 1st date he wiggled out of me that I like what I was doing what my job was and how much I was being paid which is a really weird things we talk about when you 1st days but this is fully normal for 100 and he was like if you are being underpaid I was a gradually so this job at 40 K a year because you know resource known 40 they like this is all we can do it every year my review it always like I Yulia also and raise like this is the Mexican doing you plot it now that you have also something like that have as at 53 thousand and those like anarchy 53 is like you're being underpaid and you are not that yes you are like it's a start up is that it doesn't matter and I are they can afford more he's like of sure of course they can and then I have like a litany like all these excuses and so odd beating going to turn into media for coffee amid walk around the suburbs behind the coffee shop and I just give all the excuses about why like I shouldn't ask for a raise and you just a few every single 1 of them yet true love right to it and somehow over this time he he broke down all of my excuses about why I should ask for a raise why I was actually not that I was being widget underpaid and he convinced me I needed to go 53 my yearly reviews coming up various and 73 thousand you continue to go in there and ask for a raise to 90 thousand this Jake gene into 2 homes I like people do things have no idea how he convinced me actually answer that I think that's so scary for me now to go about and now that my so I went into that interview and just like shaking like beautifully I and is like so this is my inverted Byron like I'm breaking all the rules there are sets by you know companies for employees and of course in that's a In that's review they're like the same thing for off JC 10 per cent raise your also my congratulations you can leave now and have like well I this and select the research and I think I'm actually worth having the race is going be too late 60 thousand side of it I should be you need the 5 and of that 85 not 90 the number you convince me in 1 back under afterwards that cause 85 music you would that I that's why the nineties and I think about this as as of under the fulfilled so I said 85 and by bosses to faces with white and like you need to leave now like not quit like not in wasn't fired just yet but like you need to leave office media delivery about this and I would like me to ask just like will my god but I'm so fired and not like less than half an hour later they called the back into the office and they say well we can 85 we can do in to what was is like the lottery 60 and they went to any 2 numbers like of course I took it on yeah that is what is what remained of wild and both an hour later I started doing this no way it's that was too easy and they knew under paying me that's why have that's why it was so easy to get that race they knew that their under paying me and there is no reason for band to ever pay me a market salary no they obviously could in toll I ask for it this was like a nuclear explosion in my brain links my whole world turned upside down under very high you will lessen about working in a company that there is no reason the penny more unless they ask for and things like that max 10 per cent raise are just there right company to the stop you for asking for more grave massive war and think goodness that operationalize and helped me out with that this was such a transformer at time of my career to realize that it was up to me to you know what I'm work is up to me at the Alliance companies friends I was working with his buckets of my ruropolis each other I can't rely and people to to know what those were the painting that yeah it taught me that I need to ask for its this is super scary like I I much rather use the working accompanying you there's been taking care of but you can't trust on and have as a business person I run wedding lovely I have full-time employees under me actually understand the whole like 0 hope they don't ask for a raise because you know the company essentially I understand if a business perspective to you I know why they did that but it told me that as an employee I also had a huge part of myself so how you don't you work hard you know to take the steps you other than leaving appearing like a highly no the secret project number to
build a support network you can't just do this alone is under the and I was
could be like you know I'm woman did it's all my old but no I like took another person have this you know is also due to tell me that you take the steps but I'm going to give my life and like decided to prime so early on in the if to like help me at stake this big step in this 1 step of this like led me beings here running my own business like learning this lesson of having asked and having to the charter myself was really crucial for I I wonder like bring up some
resources like if you don't have you under your life so you do actually have been 100 in life there's a lot of things I can at best hope you build a support our people out there who were Tolley happy to like 2nd test I like the he's a health here's much I'm being paid you such I think you were people can help you out people then say yes that's the right and think that's the wrong thing as e-mail analysis a slight groups like to
find and you have to take that step of asking for help yes I save this 1 as I
analyst or someone decides at this job I think the salaries great should I negotiate spoiler always she this is a very easy question to respond to the universe this lickerish offers also should still ask for a little more and so the people said in this e-mail as there'll held out this person and given the advice they needed to take that step that would potentially affect their career for Commissioner press the life the terms of knowing how much a word
obviously look at sorry aggregators and you know there's things like salary accomplice killer com I wish I did that when I was at this company and would have realized how the data was made still I would still had this that excuses like over a certain so we can afford it required that a person to be like buying again I but it would be good least know what you've already paid and this
actually is a couple years ago that's not really big died on since then but it's still happening people on Twitter and other social media networks talking head talking salaries on the top a hashtag NFI
you contact your co-workers about salary be under the impression that it is illegal or against the rules are at the beginning I think your employee handbook where says you can talk to your co-workers where salary all those are just things made up by the company to prevent you from talking to each other and asking for more there is not a legal you whole again talking you should talk want your coworkers and make sure fighting and don't wait in steering happy to for like you could be like I'm from another company I holy happy and so like by what is continued on as it was it was a person let me know know if I were actually with was positions so it's worth even if you're happy for you are yet disagrees research which should your your indeed in painting and you have to ask asking part is the 1st part economists answering immediately put into this so she didn't hear any
of that right about what she did appear in on air and the dominant view the
at the the I did that the
map from the number of the point line always be beeping real conveyed that yeah there's a couple books that really did change my
life during this time as well I know this is a controversial but there's was a lot about here don't like this but I I loved it if you haven't read it I encourage you to read it make your own decision and I think meaning is really really good book it it helps me take those may take the steps of union and and then asking and they're making doing negotiation or figuring out where I was in terms of my career and salary in me and being able to myself to make the changes I actually believe that some can the as and try to change the world in terms of how we how it is that the culture change of culture together while also being advocates for ourselves in this book is a really great but for helping you helping you learn the active herself and this but is magical you have not
others but should read it is great it is well written is a great story and has such great lessons of art asking by Amanda Palmer or how I started worrying and let people help you know when you have a support network building a support network and people you know who were there to help you you have to let them help you in that sometimes you really really hard thing to do when it comes to
dealing company enough to ask for things for taking that step of appearance of out there and asking for something and you answer is help this practice asking for small things and feel as a lot like reared markers out there who we talk about this li asking for 1 of the you don't talk people I can break the rules and the like try to get something that benefits and like birds the interference in the sooner that some 10 various things may not talking about but like yeah i until interlinked take the world and then the craving scumbags don't be evil iterative when I try to find small things to ask for a material I betrayed find things that benefit me as well as a person whom I'm asking for example airplanes that's why I did a lot of flights I spoke at 17 conferences last year which is pretty Paula and so therefore I was on a plane a plane a lot about 1 10 of the planes i've on mentioned on the plane I booked because the CIA here and your plane is leaving it like 5 PM and the hotel's taking you out at 11 days go the airport with the computer I cannot as work it's like playing it's off you get to the airport and there's another flight going to your destination meeting earlier today and I start new booking the flights and is 1 more expensive which is why put the later 1 the 9 airport there is a flight leaving earlier walk up to the desk and ask if they can put you on that flight yeah it works all the time 0 my gosh sears they do this it is likely the airlines intended to put you on earlier flight they have room because that means the later flight in something could go wrong they want have more seats that later flight just in case it is inferred that really to put you on that earlier flight and of course the benefits need is not an earlier flight going home we earlier on a flight is probably more expensive the but by paying more I sound like and so the carriers American delta united mental ask you to pay extra change the and about 50 per cent time all like the kth the array of the others to present time but anyway that for you it's wholly worth asking is a really cool you know if you're traveling a lot you see that opportunity you can ask and see the movie to the flight the worst thing they can say is not sets on the ways that something I I practice doing whatever flying natural look rather opportunities for me to any really like the probe myself like Fig advantage of the system but in a way I can ask away for my life that also you know works out in the other person's they look for the opportunities the the thing that helps me with asking With asking for things that that will be a benefit and I'll think about what's the worst case scenario the other thing this logically
is the worst case scenario could be our leaders fall from the sky and is thus much me in the world exploding and you know really far with the worst case scenario Taliban think logically but the actual worst-case scenario back to the whole starting education things of the way I look at it so negotiation is that there is about 25 per cent chance and you know these are all gasses but this is how I I really like I really think this is pretty accurate my my feelings are as about 25 per cent chance of them just being like sure no 1 in 4 chance of them be like OK cool we can do that there's a lotta chances of 50 per cent chance of ill negotiate back they'll say let's media like that native it on a safeguards like the people I was work with like there's of causal never take my offer they always really see faceplate down I have 50 to their 82 and make people argue that you that all but then these but they get 3 force that if by per cent chance of getting a better than had before so might that the risk holy can take 35 chips % chance of getting a higher offer but of course there's some negatives as like say 1 in 5 chance of lambasting no saying which puts you right back to where you were before so you know that's a 1 90 per cent chance of you're making a higher salary or nothing happening the and then there's the worst case scenario the White what is the worst case becomes 0 job offer a salary offer and worst case could be they're like no and were taking off for a while I genes it's very it's summons as a cow offering this job for a 50 thousand I actually 55 yeah there's a chance there's like you know all work during the war and that's really scary don't want the job offer to go where that's what starts a lot people from taking that step negotiation so thing areas 1st me in that case what I really want work for a company that had to be better sense that so that they had had to about many earlier on then later so that's how I look at things in life in general
really think about what the chances of something going right for me what the chances of something going wrong whats that worst-case scenario and if that worst-case near happens how would I react to it so it's a not started should all positives if you're going no a yes and that therefore graphic like responded to rescind the offer I know our them anyway since like reaches the reassures me and helps me think that released scary stuff and asking for more money yeah some general the vitiation slashed asking types of really quickly it negotiating money as works for salaries this works if you have a company in raising money I try to give the 1st number yourself now look at the person the number resist the urge they're like 0 will we making lost job like I like the children or something you know trying to give that number the trying to say your number or something like here we give you 5 per cent those words if you didn't give a number they might give you 10 15 years and any asking situation you're asking for money to them a fund-raising asking you switch planes which planes I don't undercut yourself keep the request brief I evidence you babble and that's where it is like the for Fourier earlier flight and I I I I see this quite open and I have important thing at home in this meeting and to get to it so was a kind of hoping the movie the flight because that we really also and help like had you know is you going it's much better to see I I see there's a flight available i is a on later flights anyway uses flight and stop or no that thank you for your offer of 80 thousand I think I'm worth 85 stock they don't battle we can go on for pages about this after a little more about later In general negotiation does not mean you're a mean person or selfish you're just asking for something better and this this reassures me when I needed to take that step and ask for this biological
not support network the people out there that can help you make these are stored and tell you where you are in in terms of salary your career this is such a great place to be other people that leads me into my next big tent because if you're someone with anxiety your social your me you know you walk into a strangers and your brain is yelling at you like these people are enemies and heating thing about I do like me it's really really scary to come to a place like this
by an is to make 1 1 meaningful connection and events you not need everybody just make 1 the very 1st conference ever
was south myself instances 8 on this is deep into my being scared about people phase and someone had told me someone and then 2 hours in school told me that if I want to begin to tack new you to go south and southwest and I went to this job this job that I know the whole story about money was from and none of them were really interested in going out meeting people I ask like Alice's conference I cannot do that and how I did the really scary step you add to the really scary stuff of desired take that person advice what a plane ticket potentilla room and flew south by southwest knowing new 1 and that 1st conference was largely need walking into like an after party seeing everyone in little groups talking to each other going and then running away I conclude with the if to each other I can't like jump into this group several like everyone has their friends and you're my elements like this that might help not playing back I don't the sessions ISO times a couple hours largely alone the entire on the plane back fountain people who were at supper southwest younger going back to the same area which is possible and so we got to talking and became friends on the plane and those people in the barrier lake from then I met more people and not what that more people and it's like a direct line from those people in that plane to wearing right now on my career like just person to person to person to event to event that right meaning those people just might change changed my career I saw the lady events and there's a few things that I use nowadays and to help me you walk into that crowded after per where was talking to each other and go and try to make that connection see there's a person in there was no change my career in my life the this is did earlier I haven't innocent few years earlier on underrates and do a torque problem for other it we would go to a lot of events in the Bay area a lot attack events are there and we went out I can turn into a game walking to romantic like OK 92 go mingle for male 30 minutes you don't really have a purpose it would not like rules there was and like any like you to talk to this many people there nothing except stone but the agreement was that we have split up not the not beat each other as and that's kind of like you know in holding hold me back with medieval it's good that talk to people and we came back we tell each other like who we met and wider pool and changing it from this like weird meaningless activity of like walking to roman chat people for half an hour freedom trainer from back to a guy do go meet someone and then the laughter report back wander in the US but again that we were 1st and then come back together it just switch something in our brain immediate easier for me to just walk up the people I drew the next immediate that had to do that because we of a game that has this weird like social activity and it really helped me like get the Congress their breaking into groups of people and it's like saying my name and meeting them and is a lie do nowadays I this is like this social anxiety I was that PHP attack earlier this year and I didn't always conferences I think I've come so far my life and peace be I don't know PHP but is fully environment read in having friends there and I did that thing what is not a party I like 0 my god there's all those feelings again they're not having gone away but in that case why do nowadays is society again instead of just meaningless activity of going into rule people at times the people and not having purpose I tell myself that I cannot leave until I've made 1 meaningful connection and it's not as like me by people or as I talked to about people like In 1 meaningful connection might sell scary speculate I talk like 10 people in all soccer but I find that this 1 per that actually easier when I do it at years beat someone right like not I'm glad I met that person and then on cruel to leave now I mean that my lecture that made like change events for me it's made it so I can change work even when wavelength scare away know give networking events will that more purpose the other thing last thing that really helps me out events as it
really is really hard nowadays I'm really trying to call myself a 99 % people are also not that big number of even like I looked when it's again it's pretty obvious that he and at what % of people that is pretty pretty big number number the forever in the planar drawing
managers happy faces in person X may look what is she doing that the others like say 350 people you think that's kind word on that leaves like for you have people who saw now will and sorry that your money but also leave like over 300 people were asked and when I look at Twitter as people I know that social media amplifies native horrible people I just try some itself that there being amplified and that the vast majority of people in the world or people just try to make way that's odd nice people don't have to agree with me we have completely different values but they can still be 80 when I say and also it makes it
easier for me to be around people and makes events less scary at to purely really internalized as that people are going be more good than bad the alphas I'm fighting inside brain and think that people to non-tech ways there's a really big non-tech way that help me like renew my face in people I do what I
do is you can bad speaker turn your phone off to a fun family now that I do a lot there is the events of like a few years ago I took I decided to that run away from technical in the 2nd readily from TAC and do the John Muir Trail in California 200 something miles of ended it by myself but in Figure applying anyone else who was willing to go run around for 3 weeks in wilderness of me and I was like that what of sort I really gotta go with the computer science and I didn't think and why we were like well he did that on your own when he did that on your own as a 1 that was not scary you look at that the movie well yes it's unit and seemingly wild and however the book they can address the nuts and to denied the box and it need I feel like the in use of other I a great experience but people on the trail became my family people found out that I was on my own and without me asking you were trying to carry me people are checking up on me and I felt so safe on this trip it was amazing and this is a the 1 out on the trail
when I was there are is robust these yeah this to extend the obstacle they they backpacking is that you so you're at a restaurant here and the people variability of all the kids like sit down next that guy had entries the like what are you doing why you might see backpacking like a long trip like this sequester relying you walk into arrest group backpackers all sitting right table and you can tell the opposite ones were really dirty and stinky leaders like walk up to then sit down B dirty yourself to be like I entries like I know that you would make new friends and that's like that's why didn't hire trails Silverstein is like went from the little beating people wanted people Sunday's Cantor people other days and make got a lot more like really got over that fear of his life meeting strangers and interesting and backtracking rose for the real world forget you can't do that really but this is the same that and really helped me become more outgoing I get that remember that social media
makes all the people like more common and I again I iterative Thomas Albert aiding oblasti and social media is that when presented people I don't like and then wanna life tried crucially so that there's still possible kinds of people you know talk about yeah but and also important it's this
point to be the support network for others I you know while finding is for their people helped you it's important give back help we can completely alturistic where felt
this secret selfish secrets when you help other people if you're helping someone with negotiation you're telling them should Bill ever take that 1st I don't think the 1st offer you can always negotiate more when I give that advice and make them more likely to take that for me to take that advice later like I help people that full itself as I hope people the hope myself out in the future it helps remind me the things I need to do it 1 summons but on the line when it comes negotiations for easy for me to get on the iPad device that he to here and the more I give that advice it is easier for me to take it down the line so of course help people become a supporter of others because that we should do and the good people and you know of each other out but if you also want another reason to do so remember that helping people the code of the book I was support questions helping someone negotiate a job offer is going to improve yourself as well after not least take breaks
as needed there is this weird the stigma against people taking breaks as talking our 2 children and you're saying you're taking your 1st your 1st occasion 0 and after a year and is like hell yes because that's all we need to do we need to like take you can this run away and take a huge break in turn off and don't worry about people judging you when I did the John Muir Trail
actually in the middle of fund raising Meister that's kind of the worst situations run away but also for my mental help it when I really did run away because 0 my god fund raising is awful don't rely on so I was like I didn't tell you wanted announcements when Odin do anything but Andre on my e-mail to respond as we need some of like receiver you ideas like what and useful to me and I Future while I'm running around wilderness for 3 weeks I've done this a few times the last few years
I your half ago I went to a serving a treat for 3 weeks in Costa Rica this nation of Austin which is why I love this federal but believe me it's because I don't look also because I'm on my hand I don't worst server in the world in 3 weeks was not enough I think that we would also like work have there's nothing on him on board that doesn't exist this is then might achieve my life especially as I I gone like the way a foreign to the whole I had to prove myself world by having a certain writing books and putting myself in this situation are just conflate happen row work against these like feeling that our brain built up from H 0 26 every nonnegatively overwhelmed and then I turn off all Optronics takin computers and not just a week I run off for like 3 to 4 weeks and I'm lucky do that too that's the reason why I work itself and even when I do this I'm always there's always this wasn't has like what some of judges me for walking away like what are some of like Tracy have a book to grow and why she just like running around Costa Rica serving when she really should be promoting her book the known as that which is my brain and my brain yelling at me you know and breaks i'd like I do physical
activities are alike yeah I often doing something really physically challenging but breaks so have to be diagonal pack recommend ever wondered orthodontia trail it could just be situations where for a lot of it get away from the negativity and things are going on especially right now and frustrating you can step away from Taipei he afraid needed don't burn yourself out of it we all know this it's still hard to to do yourself now and again that's all the secret and why don't you take breaks easier integrates with there's a subway protect the data that I don't feel like you have to be I always on all the time it's really important health this is something that's called me a lot with anxiety it In conclusion you gotta understand that as I think it's it's also known as the world comes together and supports you and that's what happens a lot twice a non-secular answer but in the end I watch out for your opportunities watch out for the things that you need to do it's hard to say that you have to make that effort especially as you like as I was shy and had lots of things that we have to take that step but really you are your own best it take care of yourself 1st we know that ask what you need In the worst thing face now remember there's more also people been terrible I think you can disagree me I know what you do is bring me and this is something I have forever or to to survive really in this world and I hope that helps you hope I can help I truly believe that and I hope that I can help the old skills in my those support network yeah you're your own best advocate that always easier the goes a group tends to have a group around you to build support ask the people ask for help when you need it and be support work because support work for others but again it's a good thing to do just in terms of our community in our our world but also that's going to help you in the long run as well can take breaks as needed now I talked about some background and make any of this talk I got was that when I few delighted by this was on messages means as hey that helped me or so and as it is mainly say I have a question for i'm going to this problem or I just wanna rants like please I love getting these messages I respond every nite gets out all the damn ideas open outlined therein 5 you can e-mail me Tracy outline during a comma any the various you know addresses are all their websites I'm sure you can figure out the please if you if you need some and talk to I love to help and thank you everyone here is in order thank you and so on and so the and nothing in the digital filter you never had a but coming up and all others and it's do not teach designed to programmers and I think it's very often it's going to come out within 1 month or feel they think completely out of imaginary things and however have a lot of the time please use it's free online canceled by the in our is robots helping them I think you FIL the th
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