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Frameworks for Feedback

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and that and that and it was good and the bad I think that common hoping to Boston Post knowledge and and
Rebecca Miller Webster and the city of small something have the Chicago cold tolerant of and hiring comments on the mouth of the founded organizer rates because images focused on increasing the visibility of leadership of women encoders on account of something that she 15 to 18 so tell that you know of an atom buildings that were professionally for the time with a dozen years now and I worked as a developer where only the first one doing soft this adamant about all the things to customer support and then and been teams evident products in consulting and profit but then in engineering manager in various ways so sort of spans the gamut of opportunities for developers and I really come to believe that what we do as developers and technologists is that we
communicate and this is communication between the server is obviously a potent servers in different classes but also what we communicate to users but we communicate with other developers on our team to future developers and other business units and I'm really interested in
feedback which I think about the type of communication that tells us how we're doing are a successful what we want to be successful at and if you
think about it most modern software development practices agile Lean TDR really focused on getting more and better feedback and we know that the that works so
studies have shown that by far the best way to detect errors in your code is to have a human person look at it and review it but I think that we need to think about how
to 5 for all kinds of feedback especially in a personal feedback because everything is
the back it's not just what sad when what's not said it 1 languages who speaks up was interrupted who stays quiet so let's talk
about the back on some about how and why is it important to create structures around the back frameworks for giving requesting and receiving feedback and give good feedback and then we'll talk a little bit about the background sensitive and difficult conversations so I think it's really
important to create structures around the back so that it's happening regularly the so
this basically kind of mean more meetings but I think it's really important because giving negative feedback especially effective negative feedback is difficult for everyone given by positive feedback is super important and often doesn't happen because as people were actually more motivated by progress than we are by an actual accomplishment and positive feedback is what tells us that we're making progress and I think regular feedback builds trust and safety on a team and and people might give you silly back and that's OK because you're sort of showing them you're trustworthy and you can listen to what they say and ideally we have a culture that had that have that all the time but the problem with only having hoc feedback that burdens the person who has a problem so they have an issue that to get the courage to talk to you just keep talking about the issue then they also have to get up the courage to schedule a meeting like have a big subject line and then set the precedent for the meeting so reducing the barrier to getting feedback is is helpful
in terms of structures around the back I think the ones we think of often are what are the ones which are usually manager to employ a I think we miss the boat a little bit and giving feedback to our teammates and peers and whether that during appearing fashion or otherwise a new day on 1 and 1 feedback is really great because there's a sense of safety and you just talking to 1 per cent right on that said depending on the relationship you have with that person can actually feel easier to give feedback in a group setting because you might know that there's other people that would back you up so retro standards 1st modems we can do this already and the others in the back is indirect feedback so I worked in a store where every month we had a a survey analysis questions about like how happy at the company and we reviewed the results of those surveys along with its metrics every month and then there's obviously written reviews but there's also observation so if I see you talking to someone else I'm going to assume that the way that you respond to that person is similar to the way that response to me if I say something like that so we can't always control for observation but creating regular structure regular meetings around the back allows us to sort out even not that is with and have more data points so we average out a little better during the feedback timing
of a lot of the practices we use focus on feedback during and after projects so standards right shows postmortems all of those things are great I think we missed the boat a little bit in giving feedback before we start a project and so I'm chronically late per of the late surface for 1st grade so on and so on and on you don't know what it's a good thing but it's something I'm working on will probably work on for the rest of my life but if I were with someone who is really focus on functionality and that's really important to that and then we might be set up for conflict a failure in a lot of ways but if we could talk about that ahead of time and I can understand the areas where it's really important to that and they can maybe give me a break on some of the other things were more likely to be successful and to collaborate successfully and the other feedback that I think that we don't do great is cumulative feedback so usually you have performance reviews but it's not really cumulative because it's more like just like a vomit of feedback all at once so doesn't really give us the opportunity to look at patterns and weather changes that have happened did you get feedback to you respond to it are you moving forward so we don't really do that very well so like most of you I suspect
that like protocols and so I think it's useful to have frameworks for giving feedback requesting the back and receiving it so that if you're in a little bit of an emotionally charged situation in Europe that it's just easier to sort of communicate and you have something to concentrate on so giving feedback the
goal is really to have a better relationship with someone so if you work with someone you have a relationship with them you to like then you have to be best friends totally fine but it would be swell if that relationship was better rate and you can work together even better so that's the main goal and the 2nd goal with giving the bacteria is not creating defensiveness because once that sort of shield of defensiveness about you're not going to get through to them in anything they may do the opposite of what you're asking because the feeling that to just by themselves they're not really and the best way to not get people to be sensitive to talk about actions and not a per cent so you're a terrible developer in your code is about the person thing and this method is really long and overly complicated maybe it would make sense for you break it up into smaller mass it is about the actions they took and giving them an action for them so as to perform a move forward now thing as as engineers we like to be efficient but in these certain situations I think it's really important to remember the niceties so hi how are you like starting with a base level of working people and we're talking and almost all top don't go crazy with that but that's where the thick just touching base has everything going I think that's a good tone for having these conversations
so the framework that I like giving feedback is called situation behavior impacts so you want to that the situation so last week when there is a serious bug in production and site 1 down we were all working really hard to get things back talk about the behavior that person on you force us to master and employers Production with 2 production without telling anybody and then it's important to the impact so quantifiable and have this great like this that was down for X amount of time or we had excellent about as a result of this is great but I also reason them for the talk about the impact it had on you as a person so I felt apprehensive that we might introduce new bugs because our code didn't go through the normal channels and I felt irritated that I work on something that you effects hired in as in the conversation on and if you can't provide a recommendation so I know was a stressful situation but I think the best if you check in with the team before going outside our normal protocols right and that can also be used for positive feedback and again I think positive feedback is really important also often something that gets overlooked and using situation you're impact helps you give genuine positive feedback so just being like the also is great but it doesn't really tell me what I should keep doing that I'm doing well right on the birthday probably to go and a good friend of mine who teaches gave me a card and it said you were also eventually brought a list of the way that she things and off them which felt really did so it it does work I need to think about that the main about us they'll negative feedback we use more than positive feedback so if you're only getting someone negative feedback impression that you're giving them like there's terrible and negative about right but maybe there really only like 50 and going from negative 52 0 feels a lot easier than negative a thousand 2 0 right so studies have shown that if like to refund statement to counteract 1 negative for some people or situations and up to 10 a something to consider and I do think even by positive feedback and negative feedback that they need to have the same context thing like you here is really often but when wrote that's not the same but so I had an employee who no better requests from clients FIL the project manager just went ahead and did it the result is that for a European consulting company that actually get a it right and he just 1 ahead changing with simple and so when we talked about it I said look I totally know that you care a lot of clients that it was in a library of more efficient for you just to make this change that have a of bad words outside of 5 as a consultant and you have to get the the need to make sure that happening so that sort of the same context here is like the good part of what you did and then here the thing that could be improved so receiving
feedback and again the goal is to having to have a better relationship of this this time it sort of how to change and improve and this aspect of receiving the vector so with the that's the that's the patronizing it's because listening is really hard operated basically wired to look for novel stimuli and actually paying attention the and listening and difficult and requires practice and after the thing is that questions to understand so make sure that you fully understand what I was saying before you kind of think about responding to it and the last thing is to say thank you and up we all know that it's hard to give feedback and I think it can be easy when you're getting feedback and maybe it's not great and you feel a little uncomfortable or attack to 1 respond right away but in some ways just thinking that person for taking that kind kind of change the tone of the conversation and also technology that they did the media world of
so I have a friend who's a couples therapist and I was asking her what the difference between individual therapy in couples therapy was and she said that the individual therapy is all about 1 person in the experience with couples therapy it's about how to get that externalized how we communicate the connection between those 2 people and this is a technique that she uses with the patients together and to do that and it's called near and the the validation so here is listening to what was said and then repeat what they say you wanna confirm that you really do understand the saying and that the show that you understand what they feel and and validation ask questions to follow up that show you listening a so
nearing the here you say why is that correct and my threats and understanding that when I was master and this leads to production you were upset that you had to do extra work and worried that it would cause more problems just writing argument in it I really think that at the end of the day
if people want to feel heard and that's actually more important than doing what they want they wanna feel like you heard and understood there's going to be of and some arriving as a way to show them that so at
the time such to talk about in these parts of research in that and these things fundamentally entities about a curiosity about people and hopefully world curious why where developers sold how does this person think and feel and work and using that curiosity try understand that before we kind of past judgment on and also as an opportunity to make a connection between your own experience and they're there so we were not all that had the same experience but we've also angry or sad frustrated and so we can say 0 I know it's tough to feel that basically this is the fact
that the person's reasoning and emotion they're valid even if you don't have you don't have to agree with the premise you have to group actions that they took as a result of it but there was like this man you know if I feel sad than I want to feel sad like outside then you may or may not be with they did but we can sort of connect with that that inner logic the thing that has to be the
scale it the still that were not taught very well in general and but because it's still something that we can learn and practice to get better at so a couple things you can use to improve your attitude scales so 1 has to listen and summarize what was really try to focus on listening and hearing what they're saying some right there is pattern you write it down if you feel weird thing out of the 2nd thing is to recognize the demeanor on emotions we really don't do this well we say I feel followed by words that are not emotions on the just starting to think about reflect on your own feelings and how you felt that the situation is helpful to to be able to connect and see that in other and the other thing is that we all sort of have this movie monolog going in our hands whether it's like the magnet for generating this weekend that became I'm trying to sort of stuff that out and really focused on the person speaking the people and so requesting
feedback the goal requesting feedback is to get honest and actionable feedback and regular requested feedback more likely to elicit honest and comprehensive feedback so you might get silly requests 1st so the Battle of the right with the yellow and because I can't believe it that my fifth-grade teacher right kind of silly but then if I start writing with the yellow planned on showing her that I heard what she said and building a sense of trust so that the next time a person will ask you something more substantial so I Uses of might see
you probably know them a little about that and find that which is that I make them give me 1 thing that I should start doing 1 thing I should stop doing in 1 thing I should continue to if you think about it this is really what you wanna know what am I doing well there should doing the mind and body that should not do when I'm not doing that I should be doing and really getting people into the mind-set of giving feedback by asking it over and over again on a regular basis In the beginning it's kind of like you should not stop being great or whatever but it then it started they start to think about it over the next month or whatever and you start to get more of a comprehensive and actionable feedback so
if you remember nothing else from this talk I hope you remember to listen and ofquestions so how did the
feedback we've all that kind feedback before probably I hope I well I
don't hope that I hope it's not just me so good feedback is actionable specific and kind so saying you're always so inconsiderate irresponsible jerk font and often anything anyone says not actual specific or kind it's not contextual it's not about a specific of events and you know that that might be true but in general using words like always not the best and giving feedback it's better to cite specific examples so you know not always do whichever what whatever you want to talk to the team instead that 1 time when you deploy connections that telling anybody you the and the other thing that could be back is that Kyrgyz will team and within the recipient scope of skill so you may have to ask them to do something or make a recommendation that is really the full thing that you want to do on because they might not be ready for that we really need to be the set so if you have a manual make her and then you're mad at him to but something in the Johnson console like but I really encouraging that's not really within the of the scale if you want to do something a little bit about what they can do parents and work with them and that but make sure that we're asking is something that's a little bit of a stretch but not the wife a stretch that just make them feel and the last thing is to speak from your own experience it's easy to sort of say hey and these are the person was tested whatever but but that's sort of debatable in some ways so talking from your own experience and how you experience situation so if I'm finding someone interrupted someone I could say man that might seem really mad that you interrupted them for say the you really uncomfortable when you interrupted the client and I'm really worried about that they're not happy the
2nd part of the feedback is actually about receiving feedback and that's accountability so you know a Rapture as we review previous actions and see what's been done this is really important because it also gives you an opportunity if they share a totally forgot to do that thing you ask him really gonna try to do in this next time the the other thing is to explain why you did what you did especially if it was against the recommendation so I know that half of the team is really really believe that we should use American for our new feature and the other team things that we should just do it all server side and returnees of fragments and while I fully understand the value of having structured code in on the front and I think right now performance as more and more work so I'm explaining why I made a decision and acknowledging other ideas and opinions and where the about the and then the last part of this that I think is really important people often this is to review the result so is that a meeting for words 1 month 3 months talk about what it looks like to have a successful because it makes people feel like they're being heard but also their voice will still be heard in the future and nothing sort of stuff the key
thing to remember about is that without a response people are going to start talking so it's really like back and forth if you want people to give feedback to the to respond to it in some way OK let's talk about
hard stuff and so we
live in society that has depression race racism sexism homophobia transphobia all of those things and and really a passionate about the unequal distribution of resources whether that's money or education or influence or people and that's really what power it's about access to resources and power the formal and informal so your bosses power of real but so does the CEO's best friend's son who might be an internal but he had dinner every Sunday with the CIA there's a level of power there even if it's not formal and the thing to remember about feedback is that words from a person with power have exponentially so it's worth considering the power dynamics between you and someone else when you're giving for requesting feedback power
dynamics exists whether we acknowledge them not they exist all the time and and and that's OK but in some ways not acknowledging that makes them more insidious because we can talk about so
I've been a woman check for a long time and early on I got asked a lot of problems lately you know link to the woman intact and the way that I understand that the sort of patterns of behavior that come up over and over again getting interrupted in a meeting having radius ignored in but that and turned out since my academic came up with the word for that and it's always regression and the idea that they're unintentional daily acts that reinforced stereotypes action so the 1st for the person during the action and its wholly unconscious relatively insignificant small thing for the person experiencing at it's part of a larger pattern that builds up to be very obvious that it pattern a problem which makes it very difficult to talk about right this for 1 person it's relatively insignificant for another person it's actually kind of so some simple examples to thing hauling women aggressive interval color that there so articulate that's shacking asking people where they're from and they don't look like the way American the other thing is is other and the idea of making someone feel like they're not part of the group so everything I know about the fall and learn from the blind side with extendable up so if anything the ball as something that is a part of your like means the money activity I would not feel stupid a part of the group because that if we don't know about it so thinking about how you can have an inclusive group activities were a variety so that people are always feeling included so 1 of the biggest challenges about experiencing these things but it's really hard to call someone out and often people don't because they're afraid of how someone will react and I think that during emotionally charged situations it's not the best time to have a deep discussion about oppressed oppression whether you feel offended and why and in fact having to think about having that discussion often prevents people from saying anything so I think actually more helpful in trees and this to just say and makes the uncomfortable please stop talking about that please stop doing it period but then how do you respond to that I
think you again this sounds weird I think it humanizes the conversation they took a lot of courage for them to call you out whether you can see that are not on and then if you really genuinely wanna know how to improve ask if you can follow to have a lot of you I want to better understand what I did not so again at that moment is probably not the time to have that later intense discussion but I do think that the of the courage to call you out it and tell you that if you're hurt them you can which meet them halfway by having the courage to say OK can we talk about it and the and then actually do a so if you're not
layer and you rear somebody there's lots of scenarios right like the Ben totally working attention truly vast variety of things that happen but you away you stop the car and you get out of any given their returns information right you deal with the impact of your actions before you talk about the intention and I think that's really important to think about and especially with my corrections when we know that the unintentional like the by definition which and so it's not like your intentions don't matter itself have to acknowledge and deal with the impact of our actions before we can talk about the intention so different that I really like for
difficult conversations and his back feeling the class and this is called Nonviolent Communication of so similar to the situation do impact state the fact when we repairing the other day move the keyword over to your side of the table and I can reach right not only were caring the word and holy coming out of a whole conversation 1 of those is with commentary commentariat doesn't really start us off on a theme but let's like understand what we did with the with the 6 the and then talk about feelings that it gives you the now as I mentioned we say I feel followed by words that are not feeling the lot I feel judged is not a feeling it's an accusation I feel inadequate is not appealing because the toaster can be inadequate but a toaster can be angry or English offered were sad the the must if they could appears on wooden but that's the fact so you know I felt on the receiving end insecure funny movie keywords to the other side I and then we all have the means right food water shelter etc. and we also and often conflict stems from 1 person having a that is being that so think about what needed in that situation that you didn't get so I need to feel respect for my colleagues and to be open to the annotation and offensive safety to not know everything when I'm working with you those are the needs that were in and I think it was difficult conversation especially it's really important in the past few if you're not gonna sort of magically totally change somebody but making a the sat there is always some level of property and so in the future could I thank while you drive when we're working on something that I don't fully understand for could you at least ask me for moving people so I think
that what's really heard of these conversations that we immediately are light to get defensive it's much easier to get the fact that we all feel uncomfortable every time I bring this up section of like the whole thing gets along comfortable of I feel that I find resources which are that thinking about diversity and empathy is really a learning opportunities than opportunity for us to understand and learn about other people's life experiences and how we can better support and arts how actions affect that that we may not even think about so think
you go for it give feedback don't forget your framework the didn't need thank the the the the the the the the good and and the
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Metadaten

Formale Metadaten

Titel Frameworks for Feedback
Serientitel RailsConf 2016
Teil 71
Anzahl der Teile 89
Autor Miller-Webster, Rebecca
Lizenz CC-Namensnennung - Weitergabe unter gleichen Bedingungen 3.0 Unported:
Sie dürfen das Werk bzw. den Inhalt zu jedem legalen und nicht-kommerziellen Zweck nutzen, verändern und in unveränderter oder veränderter Form vervielfältigen, verbreiten und öffentlich zugänglich machen, sofern Sie den Namen des Autors/Rechteinhabers in der von ihm festgelegten Weise nennen und das Werk bzw. diesen Inhalt auch in veränderter Form nur unter den Bedingungen dieser Lizenz weitergeben.
DOI 10.5446/31513
Herausgeber Confreaks, LLC
Erscheinungsjahr 2016
Sprache Englisch

Inhaltliche Metadaten

Fachgebiet Informatik
Abstract Code reviews, stand ups, retros, and performance reviews acknowledge the importance of communication and feedback, but they don’t help you give negative feedback or ensure that you hear the small things before they become big things. Let’s talk about feedback and examine frameworks for how to ask for and frame feedback effectively. Not all situations call for the same type of feedback and some are more sensitive than others. We will look at Non-Violent Communication, techniques from family and marriage therapy, as well as more traditional frameworks for feedback.

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