A whirlwind tour of the past, present, and future for artificial general intelligence (also known as strong AI). This talk will begin with Alan Turing's original test. This is not the same as *the* Turing test everyone has heard of. We will look at the current state of the art covering such topics as: * How old does a human have to be to beat the current state of the art AI in answering science questions? * What are some other ways we can test AI? * How do we teach computers language? * How well can AI follow a written story? * How well can AI recognize what's in an image? * What basic things are easy for humans to do but very difficult for AI? * What are the common objections to the advancement of AI? * What does the future hold? As with anything that pushes the boundaries of what's possible, we'll also take a look at some hilarious failures with chat bots and image scene recognition. No prior knowledge about artificial intelligence is required for this talk.