Most of us have a "that day I broke the internet" story. Some are amusing and some are disastrous but all of these stories change how we operate going forward. I'll share the amusing stories behind why I always take a database backup, why feature flags are important, the importance of automation, and how having a team with varied backgrounds can save the day. Along the way I'll talk about a data center fire, deleting a production database, and accidentally setting up a DDOS attack against our own site. I hope that by learning from my mistakes you won't have to make them yourself.