The quest for booting Haiku on non-x86 platforms is a never-ending story. The pace of development on the x86 platform doesn't explain everything. We'll tell the story of how we started ports on ARM, PPC, m68k, how well it went so far, and what's next. Some rants on EFI, OpenFirmware, U-Boot and others might interfere with the narration. We will tell the story of architecture support in Haiku, how it progressed, and sometimes regressed due to other developments, and how different firmwares impacted the bootloader and kernel support.