There is a long tradition of researchers presenting at security conferences on topics that are embarrassing to a large company or government agency: ATM hacking, router vulnerabilities, Massachusetts toll road RFIDs, etc. Many of these brave researchers risk lawsuits or career ruin to reveal the truth. THIS is the first talk that puts the presenters' very lives in peril. Much has been made of the so-called "IPv4 address exhaustion" problem, also known as the IPocalypse. Industry analysts, networking vendors, regulatory groups, think-tanks, and so on have insisted that migration to IPv6 is the only solution. However, a small group of dissenters insist that threat is exaggerated and, more importantly, that the "migration plan" is merely a scheme to increase revenue for the network equipment manufactures and overpriced consultants. The full truth is that IPv6 is the result of an international cabal on the verge of controlling the world. For centuries, mystics have prophesied that this "migration" would be the cabal's turning point. Incontrovertible evidence will be presented to convince all in attendance. Numerological analysis, ancient texts, and intercepted communiqués are just a few examples. Due to threats against their families, the presenters have been forced to take on assumed identities and appear only in disguise. Sterling Archer , codename "Duchess", is the world's most deadly secret agent, master of the honeypot operation, and inventor of the tactical turtleneck. He has been an ISIS field agent for 14 years and is in the DANGER ZONE. Twitter: @s__archer Prof. Hubert Freaksworth's bio is somewhere. Everything's like somewhere. Currently this bio is free form. All of this fitting in this machine is seriously freaked up.