The term"smart city" evokes imagery of flying cars, shop windows that double as informational touchscreens, and other retro-futuristic fantasies of what the future may hold. Stepping away from the smart city fantasy, the reality is actually much more mundane. Many of these technologies have already quietly been deployed in cities across the world. In this talk, we examine the security of a cross-section of smart city devices currently in use today to reveal how deeply flawed they are and how the implications of these vulnerabilities could have serious consequences. In addition to discussing newly discovered pre-auth attacks against multiple smart city devices from different categories of smart city technology, this presentation will discuss methods for how to figure out what smart city tech a given city is using, the privacy implications of smart cities, the implications of successful attacks on smart city tech, and what the future of smart city tech may hold.