Have you ever wanted to trace all syscalls or dump all IPC traffic across a Linux system? Until recently, doing so may have required some significant setup involving a half-baked tracing kernel module, a custom kernel module, or even using a kernel debugger. This talk will introduce the eBPF functionality of the Linux kernel and cover practical uses of the technology beyond mere code profiling. We will show how eBPF can be used both defensively and offensively to protect, or compromise, a system. This talk will primarily focus on using eBPF to dynamically instrument kernel functionality and gain deep insight on the workings of both kernel and userspace code across a running system. Attendees will leave with practical knowledge for using eBPF to (performantly) watch every action taken on a running system and make processes reveal their secrets.