In this lightning talk, Nicolas Robidoux will pretend to implement a cross-platform GUI for an ImageMagick command in 5 minutes using nip2, and will proceed to pretending to use the command on a bunch of images all at once. Explanation: Although Nicolas is prepared to do a live programming demo, this would not work well with river-valley.tv, hence the pretending. In addition, slides allow appropriate zooming on the action, which will make things easier to see, and allow for the insertion of useful comments. After completing his PhD in Theoretical Computer Science at the University of Kent, John Cupitt spent 15 years in the Scientific Department at the National Gallery, London, as the Gallery’s colour and imaging specialist. He was lead software developer on projects that built multispectral, visible, infrared, x-ray and 3D scanners for art objects. He designed and programmed the Gallery’s colorimetric print-on-demand service. In 2004 he moved to Imperial College, London, to work as a bioinformatics modeller for the analysis of FDG-PET images of COPD and asthma patients. He has published papers on camera calibration, image processing I/O systems, user-interface design, the measurement of colour change in paintings, infrared imaging of paintings and on the analysis of infrared reflectograms. He is the lead developer of VIPS, a popular open-source image processing system.